The Frustrated Husband
I absolutely hate going round shopping malls. Why on earth is it that women seem to find it such a fascinating pastime? I just don’t get it. I know with clothing that it can be a great idea to try on before you buy and make sure that you like something and that it fits well, but do you really need to see and touch a set of saucepans to know whether they are something which you want? I don’t think so, but my wife, (as usual,) would disagree. And that is why we spent most of last weekend trudging around various out of town ‘fabulous,’ (my wife’s words, not mine,) shopping malls.
I really have had more fun watching paint dry. The only highlight for me was that we stopped off at a restaurant on the way home to eat as my wife was ‘shattered’ by all that shopping, and ‘simply didn’t have the energy to cook when we got home.’ As she isn’t exactly a well-renowned chef, to say I was delighted would be something of an understatement.
As I tucked into my rare steak and fries, (with the obligatory salad,) I started to feel slightly more relaxed, until my wife decided that we ‘needed’ to buy something else the following week. “What on earth do we ‘need’ to go shopping for next week?” I asked, my voice rose in protest.
“Ssh!” she replied. “People are looking and I don’t really think that what I want to buy is something I want the whole restaurant knowing about.”
Now I was intrigued; what could she want to buy that necessitated my keeping quiet about it? “So what do we simply have to have next week?” I asked, sipping my coke. (I hate being the driver; I can never enjoy a beer when we are out.)
“You know I broke my vibrator? Well I want a new one and a friend was telling me about her Hitachi Magic Wand,” she whispered. I had never heard of that variety of vibrator before. “And don’t panic, we don’t need to go to a mall for this one. Genna told me she ordered her Hitachi Wand on-line. I just wanted you to look through some websites with me so that we can get what I want at the right price.” Thank God I actually don’t have to go round yet another mall; this kind of shopping I can cope with!
